What I had wanted to say to you was; "I wish I was capable of human interactions, of intimacy, of loving someone, having someone, a boyfriend. And I wish that boyfriend was you."
What I actually said to you was; "Stop making it look like I'm trying to fuck you."
You had a boyfriend once, a deaf boyfriend, and everybody said to you; "Oh, you're dating a deaf boy? How sweet of you! How admirable" and no doubt your selflessness turned them on.
You woke up once, crying. You were having a terrible dream and you were crying because you missed your Father, or your Mother, the details are aren't relevant, but your boyfriend, your deaf boyfriend, cradled you in his arms and sang you back to sleep. He sang you something from Cats. God it must have sounded awful.
When you remember this, when you share it with me, you're crying again. You slide off your spectacles (which you wear because I ask you to) and say; "No, no, it's just a funny memory."